just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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