tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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