found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
