Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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