i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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