I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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