She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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