oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize