Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
