do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
