So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
