well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Damn victory sex feels great
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
