You smell like a Billy Joel song
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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