I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
