i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
