Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
