All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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