at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize