Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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