I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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