just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
