He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
