we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize