what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
