idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
