Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
