and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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