I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
