I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
