I accidentally burped into my bong.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize