its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
