I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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