you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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