you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
