you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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