I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
