: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
