This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
