dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
