when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You don't make any sense
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