Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
now i know why i became what i already was.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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