Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
