it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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