I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
