ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
