let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
