So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
