just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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