I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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