it was like his penis was on wheels.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
