Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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