like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
