btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
