Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
