sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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