toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
