is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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